PEOPLE

 

When I was in a kindergarten, I don't remember the whole thing at that time, but there are things that I remember, I was climbing the slide alone and I got wound on my knee, it felt so hurt but I straightened myself to not cry until the class started again and I still hold the hurt. the one thing that I remember was when I went to the bathroom and my teacher accompanied me.

Same with my elementary school, I don't remember a lot of things that happened, Nothing special cuz I didn't have many friends when I was in 3rd class I had one friend, and when I was 5 class I got one friend again. There were people that I played with but I'm not that close with them.

Until I went to middle and high school, I had some friends that I was close with, my middle school was the best moment that I ever have, cuz I had many beautiful moments with my friends. If I can repeat time, I wanna go back to that time.

I have not been surrounded by many people since I was a kid, and I had many problems with friendships back then. Because of that, I used to spend my time alone and I'm not familiar with many characteristics of people. But at this time I must spend my whole time with people, cuz I need to do my college in film school which requires working with a team.

My college school is quite fun even though I feel stressed about the assignments and the exams. But a lot of things that make me stressed and depressed is relation with people that I need to do for my projects. I've been hurt a lot by people, but what I do is just hold the hurt like I held the wound on my knee when I was in kindergarten, the more I held the pain, the more I felt hurt, and the scars still there on my knee until right now.

A lot of problems that I got from people made me unable to accept things that were a little painful, but I also couldn't express the pain until I felt used to the pain. It's also the reason I can't put 100% of my trust in people and put expectations on people because I don't want to add to the wounds that I have to endure again.

Humans are still my enemies to this day.

"Discomfort is something everyone has to withstand
The repetition of dramatic situations can make your life exhausting
People are like that" - People by Suga